"She does not like me this type, in disease and wellbeing, in pleasure and sorrow she shouldn't be status at the aisle correct in the front of me, extra like sporting a bridesmaid costume. She likes me in a past due evening of black and blues round my wrist from a boxing tournament with myself, yet no longer in reds, and red to scatter round my neck on a lazy morning in mattress.
She likes me in some way a prayer's den loves a sinner, however now not adequate to stand a numb head at four within the morning while all I wanna do is query my religion in prayers, and query my certainty from the dream. She loves me, yet no longer this type. No longer in a method which may face me in my darkest instances, however she'll take me to the sunshine seek with me for a sunlight to reveal me gentle is the following, and desire is essential. She'll assistance me with my scratched knees, and placed her oh so really good smelling aleo vera on my cheeks considering the fact that nobody ought to realize I have been by using the darkish to cover my tears. And unexpectedly, my cheeks do not sting from the sunlight anymore, they flush on every occasion I odor aleo vera on the street. And the sunlight she confirmed me is solely her drawing on my wall in view that by the point i received out of the cave I used to be too worn out to go looking up her eyes captured me precise there, true then.
She loves me, however no longer in some way that'll make me her stars whilst the moon makes a decision to take advantage of her faded for his egocentric wishes while the sundown arrives, and if best she knew I am keen to are living half of my days on one facet of the planet, and one other part at the different edge in order that I might turn out to her that nights can certainly not give up a shining sunlight, I'd, if handiest she would not race her center with the person who's asleep subsequent to her in mattress no longer being concerned adequate to even include her from the nightmares she has each night time, and never ample to understand she hasn't slept a relaxed second at night time.
She loves me adequate to make me pray for desire, for indications of her eyes shining for me, only for me, however now not sufficient to allow me have it."
Spirally friendzoned, September 2017.
-
[Writing With the aid of Mariam Emad, Art work from Tumblr]